How we think
“Watch your thoughts, for they become words. Watch your words, for they become actions. Watch your actions, for they become habits. Watch your habits, for they become character. Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny.”
How we think lies at the root of every word we speak and every action we perform – where we live, who we choose as our friends, what job we do and how we spend our time. Our lives are shaped by our thoughts from earliest childhood until the day we die. For this reason, recognising the power of the mind is the most important theme that underlies the 16 Guidelines for Life.
It is a natural instinct to experience the world as something 'out there'. This focus on external circumstances makes us vulnerable to their ebb and flow, which can never be completely in our favour. However, if you probe more deeply, it becomes clear that your experience of the world is significantly affected by what is going on 'inside' – by your state of mind.
1 - Humility: To be willing and able to learn from others
Humility is the attitude of experiencing the world and what it contains with wonder and awe. It is about seeing ourselves as a small part of a vast cosmos, inhabited by people and creatures from whom we can learn.
Humility is quiet strength. A person with humility can see beyond their own viewpoint and interests. They acknowledge that we are all dependent on other people, and that we have unique and sometimes unexpected roles to play in each other’s lives. Humility shifts our perspective from ‘me’ to ‘others’ and is delighted to do so.
Humility comes at the beginning of the 16 Guidelines because it is a starting point. How can we grow and develop if we think we have nothing to learn?
2 - Patience: To cultivate a calm and spacious mind
Some people seem to be born patient, just as others seem to have a tendency to get angry. However, it is also possible to cultivate patience. We can remind ourselves of the damage that is caused by uncontrolled anger. Patience is the ability to control our reactions and retain our peace of mind.
Patience gives us the flexibility and strength not to be a victim of circumstance. It is like having a protective suit of armour. It doesn’t make us passive or resigned, or take away the ability to respond appropriately to difficulties and harm. On the contrary, patience makes it far more likely we can respond in an appropriate way, because we retain the ability to think clearly.
3 - Contentment: The art of being satisfied with who we are and what we have
Contentment is a state of mind that has nothing to do with money, objects, or other people. Nor does it concern itself with how much we have, or how little. Instead, it’s about finding a point of stillness within ourselves which allows us to be quietly happy whatever our situation might be, and to be at peace with who we are.
How do we experience contentment? It can be as easy – and yet as radical – as taking a breath in, and deciding to release everything that makes us feel anxious and dissatisfied as we breathe out. Try settling deeply and quietly in a traffic jam, in the middle of an argument, or when tears are close. Let the commotion of the world simply come to rest. Is it possible to taste the experience of surrender and release?
4 - Delight: To rejoice in the good fortune of others
Delight is the delicious taste we get when something good happens. Worries fade away, frustration evaporates, and anger disappears when a baby is safely born or a friend passes their exams, when a problem is solved or a conflict resolved. Delight opens the heart.
Delight can change our minds and change our lives. It is a tonic that relieves the pain of envy and shifts the blight of depression. It brings us closer to the people we love and eases the difficulties we have with those people who are further away from us. We have a choice about what to feed our heart and mind. If we can learn to dwell on positive stories and accomplishments we can quickly bring more happiness into the lives of ourselves and others.
